Not Enough
by xChaiChanx
Summary: He didn't need us any more, and as it turned out we didn't need him anymore as well. We were stupid for thinking we were an important part of his goal. But if he had just built us up to betray us in the end... why did it still feel wrong?


**Here I am with just another CG drabble one-shot thing. THis one is a little longer then my usual ones. This one is in fact Ougi centric though I do not approve of him in R2 this idea wouldn't leave me alone XD So yea please review/read my other CG drabbles. Thank you and enjoy :D**

**Don't own CG but omg isn't Lulu so incredibly sexy? oo**

Ougi got out of his bed and rubbed his eyes. His horribly light doze was woken up by that feeling a dog gets when it barks into the midnight sky for no apparent reason, or that feeling you get when you feel as though there was something you still had to do before falling asleep and then forgetting the next morning entirely.

He grunted in frustration then quickly quieted himself when he remembered the sleeping form next to him. He smiled a gentle smile at her but soon after felt almost guilty for doing so and then looked away as he stood up, grabbing his coat to put over his T-shirt and shorts, hoping a walk would help him fall asleep.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks and he still couldn't stop thinking about… everything. Viletta, or Chigusa as the man so fondly called her, was in sight now, he could hold her late into the night without feeling as though he had to hid anything or feeling as though he was doing something against her full knowledge.

He was happy.

At least he thought so.

At least he hoped so.

He told himself everyday, every night, every hour, every minute and every second that Zero had betrayed them. Lelouch had betrayed them. Played with them. Used them as pawns to get to some sick goal only he knew about. He used him as a ragged dish cloth. It was funny to for awhile he had fooled himself into thinking he had actually had a purpose with where he was and what he was doing.

Ougi shook his head and held it for awhile on the balcony of the system. He tried his absolute hardest to clear his head of every thought of Zero and the black knights. It had all been fake. Though they never officially disbanded Ougi couldn't help but feel disdain for the dark uniforms. However though he could have very well ordered them all to be thrown away he felt some sort of… unknown attachment to the uniform and he hated it. Even the coat he wore now as 2nd in command to the man who had betrayed them, he just couldn't find it in him to just… leave it behind.

There was still something bothering him. At first he thought it was that his trust had been so easily betrayed, everything had been thrown away, all he had worked for these past few years gone in an instant. That pride and victorious feeling smash underneath the hands of another Britannian. Of another scam. Of another good for nothing feeling that maybe everything would be ok.

But… everything had turned out fine. He found the love of his life; he was able to stay with his friends who even considered family now. They had been given their names and promised Japan back fully. If they had won. Why had turning in a man who cared about nothing but himself and his selfish intentions make him feel so… wrong.

He scolded himself again. They brought this on themselves, he knew that. They all knew that from the start Zero had not been Japanese. They all knew that. They tried to convince themselves that race was not an issue but apparently it really was. And this unnatural power. Geass. Had he used it on all of them, had he used it on him? He was almost positive he had and felt stupid for thinking otherwise. But… then why did he still feel that everything that had happened so far was not… fake, that everything had been his decision. That he had been watching Zero with genuine awe.

Ougi stopped and looked around. Crap. He was lost. It was a section of the base he didn't go to often and on top of it being almost pitch black dark he was sleep deprived and his mind was all fogged up. He sighed and kept walking. He hadn't been able to sleep for two weeks. His movements were groggy and his eyes were half lidded. It wasn't until he heard strange noises coming from one of the rooms in the hallway that he began to wake up a little bit more. It wasn't until he saw the dim light come from the crack in the door that his brain actually started working again.

Carefully he creaked the door open and peaked inside to see Karen with her feet up on the desk, her back slouched in a spinning chair and her eyes red and frustrated. She had headphones connected to the computer on the desk and kept rewinding one little bit of a sound clip as she held her uniform coat in her hands.

"Karen?" Ougi asked loud enough so that she could hear over the headphones.

"O-Ougi!" She said suddenly falling out of the chair and rubbing her eyes. She quickly stood up to face Ougi. "What's up?"

"What are you doing, it's late." He said in a fatherly tone of voice and Karen narrowed her eyes.

"It's nothing. I was just… going to bed." She said putting on her coat.

"Karen, I know this is hard on you too. There was no way you could have known." Ougi said turning his back to her. This was not helping that poking feeling in the back of his brain at all. "We just need to get on with our lives, its best that he left, its best that he's go-" As Ougi turned back around to face Karen he felt a hand slap his face as Karen glared up at him, tears falling from her eyes.

His eyes were wide as she stormed out of the room without a word.

"Wh-why…" He turned his attention to the computer and looked around a bit as if he were a small child trying to steal a cookie. He quietly put the headphones on and listened to the clip that had caught Karen's attention.

"_The concept of cutting off isn't enough to defeat Britannia." _

'The concept of…. Cutting off…'

"_I can't believe you haven't realized it by now that you were so foolish, I was just using you."_

But…

Ougi replayed the clip himself several times over and over and over again trying to make sense of the words. If the concept of cutting off…

Wasn't enough…

Why?

Why wasn't that enough for Zero? Why wasn't that enough for Lelouch? Why wasn't that enough for him?! Why did he betray us? Why did he reject the Administrated Zone for Japan? Why had he killed so many?! Why had he used his Geass…!?

Ougi stared at the sleeves of his jacket as he looked at his hands.

If the concept wasn't enough for Zero…

Why was it enough for them?

--

Two weeks had passed and no one had heard or seen from Ougi except when he exited his room to eat. Chigusa was the only one to really talk to him but even she could only get so much out of him. It was when the emperor was about to make an announcement that all the black knights had crowded around the TV.

When Lelouch had made his grand appearance sitting down on the throne and flashing a bright smirk at the camera, Ougi was the only one who smiled, though no one noticed.

If it wasn't enough, if it was more then just a game then maybe, just maybe…

He could hold onto his faith…

for just a little longer.


End file.
